Besides all this nay saying, I’ve been thumbing through the local community college catalog and feel compelled to take on a string of French courses starting in the spring. 

Vacation photo of Notre Dame

 Now, when I think about taking French classes, I reminisce to when I spent a month in France one summer when I was 16 years old. 

I was invited along with a girl friend and her parents to travel by RV.  We drove to Dover and took the ferry to Calais (an armpit of a destination, like Newark). We  drove through Paris.  Saw the Eiffel Tower for 5 secs, 3 miles away at about 80 mph.  Stops were made at small towns/villages  while we made our way down to southern France.   Our main sustainance was cheap wine, Rockford cheese, fresh baked baguettes from local bakeries and tangerines from the farms.  We spent our days being tourists.  I was able to venture off to go for runs.  Once we reached southern France, 15 kilometers from the Spanish border,  we ceised travelling for a  week.  One day we snorkel in the Mediterranean and climbed on the cliffs and jumped in, I was fearless.  However, once when climbing out of the water, I felt dizzy and collapsed onto a bed of sea urchins and my grandma was picking spines out of the palms of my hands weeks later in Florida.  I had another brush with fate when I had my retinas scarred.  My girl friend’s mum’s saggy breasts were on display when we spent one day at a naked beach…I kept my one-piece on thank you very much.

 On the very last evening in France, every body except I was sick with food poisoning, so I took an adventure around the camp grounds.  I first headed to the club house where a french comedy was being viewed on the television.  It did not amuse me, so I left.  I was followed by a handsome french boy, a little older than me with dark hair.  We walked together and between his limited English and my French we conversed satisfactory.  He escorted me to a white footbridge over a creek .  There I had my first french kiss.  After some kissing.   He walked me back to my temporary home, it was around 10pm.  After we bid au revoir,  I discovered all my travel companions were asleep.  I left promptly searching for that hottie.

Thinking back, it was a good thing I did not find French Fry again, otherwise I would have had another “first” that night I am certain. 

10. Calling the massage lotion…lube.  That is what I call my sex lube.  So I say at school, “Hey massage partner, where did you put the lube, where is the lube”.  It is massage lotion…damn it!  I need to get that into my brain.

9. Quick to get naked.  We are only doing neck massage, but I am fully naked and content under my sheet.

8. Every single perverted comment that comes out of ANYbody’s mouth, I always ALWAYS laugh first.  While it does a fly by on the other women.

7. I have been known to come to school hung over on a weekday morning.

6.  When we go on location to give massages, many times we run into situations that end up not allowing us to use tip cups, I suggest garters.

5.  I wear low cut tops.  Not appropriate, but I don’t care if everyone sees my cleavage.

4.  Lingerie falls out of my fitted sheets at school…. that is where that wicked weasel mesh g-string got too.

3. 99.9% of people I invite to my clinics are men.

2. I am not shocked when I hear about a male client exposing themselves to the therapist, but ask if he can be booked with me next time.

1. I know very well what a happy ending is and always happy to enlighten any young newcomer to what is means like I am the all knowth of HJ.

]]> http://jessienotjes.wordpress.com/2009/06/13/the-failing-personna-the-10-ways/feed/ 11 jessienotjes http://jessienotjes.wordpress.com/2008/10/06/542/ http://jessienotjes.wordpress.com/2008/10/06/542/#comments Mon, 06 Oct 2008 00:29:10 +0000 Jessie Yum Yum Nurus http://jessienotjes.wordpress.com/2008/10/06/542/ ]]> This afternoon I was checking out “You Tube” and the clips for “Ladette to Lady” a popular British reality show where ladettes are turned into ladies

Ladette: Usage: UK

1. (informal) a young woman that behaves like a lad.

The show reopened a finishing school, called Eggleston Hall.  Once a manor, it is situated in moors of England on the north bank of the River Tees near Barnard Castle.  It once resided Charles Neville, the 6th Earl of Westmorland.  He was implicated in the Rising of the North against Elizabeth I in 1569.  When I was 17 years old, the Hall was still a school and I was a student.

True to many English private schools, you pay top coin to have minimal supplies and amenities; faculty and parents call this character building.  The school prided themselves for teaching the culinary classes without any electrical appliances other than a stove top and an oven.  They call this “finishing school”, at the time however, I thought it was where the head mistress designed a year long curriculum to dick around with flowers and torture young women with cookware.

One exasperating experience came when choux pastry was being prepared.  Since food processors was not available, this dense bowel of fattening goo must be beaten with a wooden spoon over a period of a couple of days.  All girls went to bed with pain in our entire upper appendages.  We finally made dessert with this mess and that was the last eclair that ever passed my lips.

I have some fond memories of my stay, particularly my runs in the breathtaking countryside.  Two hour runs were not unusual for me, really these are some of the best moments of my life.  A dilapidated church and cementary from the 11th Century was on the property. The students were forbidden to enter the premises, but I frequently toured.  I tried my only cigarette when I gallivated with a group of classmates to the local corner store, but at three pounds ($6) a pack, even if I didn’t think it was horrid habit, I could not afford it.  Memories are vast,  perhaps inclusion at a later date.

Currently, Donald Trump is looking to cast  Eliot Spitzer’s, former Governer of New York,  hooker Ashley Alexander Dupré to join the cast of an American version of the show.  At least she is going from Ladette to Lady and not the other way around, as in my case. (I’m just kidding of course )

Thank you all for contributing to my Halloween Costume Poll.  Here are the results!

30 Voters Total

#1 Speed Demon:  4 Votes

#2 French Maid:  10 Votes

#3 Cop:  7 Votes

#4 Goth Nurse: 5 Votes

#5 School Girl: 4 Votes

WINNER FRENCH MAID

CONGRATULATIONS WINNERS!

WATCH OUT FOR MY NEW PICS COMING OCTOBER 18TH!!!

___________________________________________

Fall officially here! The nights are cooler.  The leaves will soon be turning and my junk mail box is filling up with spam for Halloween costumes.  Now I have not purchased a Halloween costume in awhile and I was checking out www.flirtcatalog.com for something fun.  Please help me pick.   The one with the most votes will be modelled in an upcoming photo shoot.  I promise to model for you too even if it is not Halloween Place votes in comment section under this post. Thanks for contributing.

The Girl at Ipanema goes Running

I am not much for keeping workout journals, I really suck at it.  When I was into body building and into kickboxing I was very diligent since I paid a personal trainer to do all the writing for me.  I have been a life long runner and what a better gift to give this extreme enthusiast, a running journal of course.  So at every start of a new year, with my newly acquired Christmas gift, I would fill out all the vitals.

• Distance
• Duration
• Pace (math involved here)
• Time of Day
• Weather
• How I felt before run
• How I felt after run
• What I ate
• How many hours of sleep
• Did I have a bowel movement…no not really a question

but you get the point, it was time consuming.  The great part of the journal was it motivated you to run.  That whole wanting to keep to your goals and keep you focused is great…I realize I need that right now.  I think the realization kicked in when this conversation hits the deja vu button..

You are in phenomenal shape, Jessie, what do you do?

I run, just run, hate the gym, run run run run…giggle

Really that is all you do, how far do you go

I dunno, I guess about 5 miles

How often

I dunno well…hmmm…I guess about 4-5 times a week

I very much want to know these questions.  And since you all are sooooo interested in my running patterns, I am keeping a log of it here.  I kept a gym log a while ago for a school  project, that worked out well.

Even though I might be able to try a journal, I say screw it, I’m just in a “stuff” hating mode right now.  I want eveything digital, I want my lifes’ possessions on a thumb drive.

Another inspiration to this venture is an awesome gift, a”Nike+Ipod” (thanks to one of my best buds, Tabitha).  A sensor is stored in a pod in my new running shoes that wirelessly transmits data to a piece that connects to my Nano Ipod.  This provides all the necessary info an avid runner needs.  When the workout is completed, Lance Armstrong compliments your progress.  My sweetie tells me it is a wave file, I tell him he is just jealous that an olympic champion takes such interest in my stride.

RUNNING JOURNAL

END OF LOG

Saturday, April 19th: Weather: 4:98 min/mil, Pace: 7:55 min/mil, Time: 39:28, Weather: 82F feels like 78F beautiful evening

Friday, April 18th: 4.90 mil, Pace: 7:48 min/mil, Time: 38:17, Weather: 78F

Thursday, April 17th: 5 mil walk

Wednesday, April 16th: 5:00mil, Pace: 7:49 min/mil, Time: 39:11 Weather: 72F

Sunday, April 13th – Tuesday, April 15th: No run, took that break

Saturday: April 12th: 2.96 mil, Pace: 7:54 min/mil, Time: 23:25, Weather 75F.  Body felt tired.  I need a break from running, but I am not going to give myself one if I keep eatting fried food.

Friday, April 11th: 4:65 mil, Pace: 7:55 min/mil, Time: 36:55, Weather: 78F.  Too hot

Thursday, April 10th: 5:01 mil, Pace: 7:54 min/mil, Time: 39:38, Weather: 68F

Wednesday, April 9th: 5:01 mil, Pace: 7:49 min/mil, Time: 39:15

Tuesday, April 8th: 5.05 mil, Pace: 7:52 min/mil, Time: 39:50, Weather: 52F

Monday, April 7th:  No run, study study.

Sunday, April 6th:  3:51 mil, Pace: 7:51 min/mil, Time: 27:33

Saturday, April 5th: 5.06 mil, Pace: 7:49 min/mil, Time: 39:39, Weather: 62F.  I stretched for 45 min this morning.  I can tell I have been neglecting that part of my routine as of late.

Friday, April 4th:5.00 mil, Pace: 7:48 min/mil, Time: 39:07, Weather: 58F.  I thought I ran faster today.  It felt good to finally run.

Sunday – Thursday April 3rd: OFF: Exams, crappy weather, and tax time kept me from running.

Saturday, March 29th: 5.20 mil, Pace: 7:43 min/mil, Time: 40:12 min, Weather 48F, this was a fast run, I went off pavement in the woods for about .3 mile so this would affect my pace some.   15 min stretch at wake up and before bed.

Friday, March 28th: 5.16 mil, Pace: 7:47 min/mil, Time: 40:12 min, Weather: 60F, and windy, should have ran earlier when it was 70F and sunny.  15 min stretch at wake up and before bed.

Thursday, March 27th:  No Run, 15 min stretching in morning, 45 min stretching in evening with myofascial release work.

Wednesday, March 26th: 4:52 mil, Pace: 7:51 min/mil, Time: 35:36, Weather: 67F  For a week, I have been stretching when I wake up for about 15 minutes.  This has improved my flexibility and my ability to sit at a hard plastic desk in class 6 times a week.  I always stretch before and after my run, but I want to improve my flexibility even further.  I didn’t stretch this morning, however, but I will begin making note whether or not I stretched in the morning so I will stay on track.

Tuesday, March 25th: 5:05 mil, Pace: 7:46 min/mil, Time:39:14, Weather: 50F.

Sunday, March 23rd & Monday, March 24th:  OFF

Saturday, March 22nd: 5:18 mil, Pace: 7:56 min/mil, Time: 41:07, Weather: 46F

Friday, March 21th:  5.16 mil, Pace: 7:49 min/mil, Time: 40:26, Weather: 50F and sunny.  I’m not trying to beat myself up with the pace anymore.  I am focusing more time into stretching.  I am going to incorporate yoga back into my routine.

Thursday, March 20h: 5:03 mil, Pace: 7:51 min/mile, Time: 39:32, Weather :46F 23 mph wind with 29 mph gusts.  I was feeling wimpy, so I instant messaged my sister to give me motivation.  As no-bullshit personal trainer she knows how to kick you in the ass, even  over the internet. I whined about my woes of it being windy, and had a chicken burrito sitting in my stomach, she had no mercy.  I even told her that I just rubbed one off from watching internet porn and my legs were wobbily…she didn’t care….so I ran (do you know how hard that was?)

Tuesday, March 18th & Wednesday, March 19th:  OFF

Monday, March 17th: 5.04 mil, Pace: 7.44 min/mil, Time: 39:01, Weather: 49F

Sunday, March 16th: 5.28 mil, Pace: 7:50 min/mil, Time: 41.26, Weather: 48F with 20mph winds.

Saturday, March 15th:  5.23 mil, Pace: 7.32 min/mil, Time: 38.26, Weather: 59F.  Early spring my favorite time of the year and this was a great run.

Friday, March 14th: OFF, travel day and spent the evening emailed all of y’all.

Thursday, March 13:  Played kick ball yesterday evening on the beach and while determined to not kick like a girl, I strained some adductor muscles.  So instead of running, I allowed myself to be hypnotized by the surf with several margaritas.  I did scour the beach of many of its shells, that was exercise..and more back bending than I can wish upon anyone.

Wednesday, March 12: 4.40 miles, Pace: 8:12min/mil, Time: 36.09, Weather: 80F.  Bright sunny what else do you expect at 12noon on the beach in Naples, FL.

Monday, March 10th & Tuesday, March 11th: OFF.  Its Spring Break and I’m outta here!

Sunday, March 9th: 5.14 miles, Pace: 7:50min/mil, Time: 40:17, Weather: 43F.  I love day light savings!  I would not have gone for my run if it wasn’t for it.  I decided to shop this afternoon to treat myself to a few fun spring tops.  I’m on spring break from school and haven’t spent any money for pleasure as of late.  It was so chilly and windy earlier, but when I came home it was warmer, so at 6pm I ran.  It was a great easy run, and unlike yesterday, the sun graced me with its presence.

Saturday, March 8th: 5.29 miles, Pace and Time no record, Weather: 46F.  Severe rain storms rolled through the area all morning and day.  Finally at 5:15pm the doppler radar assured me that the line of storms passed.  Clear skies were a 360 around the dark patch of clouds that seemed to stalk me on my run.  Perhaps tomorrow will be pretty day.

Friday, March 7th: Off

Thursday, March 6th:  5:18 miles, Pace: 7:47 min/mil, Time: 40:22, Weather: 54F

Tuesday, Mar 4th & Wednesday, Mar 5th OFF

Monday, Mar 3rd: 5:05 miles, Pace: 8:06 min/mil, Time: 40:57, Weather: 68F little windy start, but what a beautiful day for a leisurely run.  I wish I was able to start earlier so I could run longer.

Sunday, Mar 2nd: 5:15 miles, Pace: 7:53 min/mil, Time: 40:38, Weather: 47F warmed up to 50F.  Dressed too warmly.

Saturday, Mar 1st: 5:19 miles, Pace: 7:46 min/mil, Time: 40:24, Weather: 45F  Sunny.

Friday, Feb 29th: OFF

Thursday, Feb 28th: 3.75 miles, Pace: 7:49 min/mil, Time: 29:19, Weather: 32F.  Late start so could not run longer before sunset.

Tuesday - Wednesday OFF

Monday, Feb 25th: 5:01 miles, Pace 7:37 min/mil, Time: 38:12, Weather: 45F. Clear skies and a much needed run.    Chemistry Exam was returned today which studying for kept me from running for a week.  This exam left students walking out of the room in shock due the difficulty level and 1hr 15min was hardly sufficient time.  Classmates reported today being so upset after the exam and unable to finish.  Because of the difficulty, we were graded on a curve, with the highest grade 95% given a 100% and everyone else was give +5%.  Guess who set the curve   Moral of the story, I complained about not runnning, but it was worth it.

Sunday, Feb 24: 5:08 miles, Pace 7:44 min/mil, Time: 39:23, Weather: 43F.  Almost stepped on a couple of really expensive little yapper dogs due to owners extremely long lead and complete state of oblivion.

Saturday, Feb 23: 5.05 miles, Pace: 7:52 min/mil, Time: 39:49, Weather: 37F, overcast and damp so temperature felt 5 degrees cooler.  This run felt sooo good, I feel normal again.

Monday, Feb 18th - Fri Feb 22nd: Studying for a chemistry exam, life and bad weather impeded on my time to run….never, never again, I felt like I was toying with a nervous breakdown from being away from running so much lately.  Perhaps it has nothing to do with running, and I just need to get laid.

Sunday, Feb 17th: 4.70 mil, Pace: 7:58 min/mil, Time: 37:29, Weather: 47F and overcast.  Great run, but feel like I need a carbo load.  This may explain why my preworkout weight was 121.2lb which is 3lbs under my typical weight.

Saturday, Feb 16th: 4.74 mil, Pace: 7:54 min/mil, Time: 37:31, Weather: 45F and very sunny.  Stress hit a high point today, this run was much needed and very much enjoyed.

Monday, Feb 11th - Friday, Feb 15th: Life just impeded on my ability to run (a stretch of bitter cold days did not enduce modivation either)

Sunday: Feb 10th: 5:22mi, Pace: 7:53 min/mil, Time: 39:30, Weather: 32F feels like 18, 35mph wind.  great run, felt nible and fluid.

Saturday: Feb 9th:  OFF way too much homework/studying to do.

Friday: Feb 8th: OFF  Laid down for a quick nap at 4pm, I was out until 8:30am the next morning.

Thursday, Feb 7th: 5:16 mil, Pace: 8:04 min/mil, Time: 41:43, Weather: 48F.  Felt dehydrated from coffee consumed before run.

Wednesday, Feb 6th:  OFF, legs were fatiqued from deep tissue massage

Tuesday, Feb 5th: 5:13 mil, Pace: 8:15 min/mil, Time: 42:24, Weather 54F.  You try running faster/longer with a roast beef sandwich in your belly the size of your foot.

Monday, Feb 4th: 4.55 miles, Pace: 7:50 min/mil, Time: 35:43, Weather 50F.  Ran late and was dark for most of the run.  Cut my run short since could not see one foot in front of other.  This also slowed me down some.

Sunday, Feb 3rd: 4:65 miles, Pace: 8:01 min/mil, Time: 37:21, Weather: 55F.  Right lung feels weak still.  Left leg desperately needs massaging…anyone want to give me a rub?

Saturday, Feb 2nd: 4.62 miles, Pace: 8:19 min/mil, Time: 38.22, Weather: 44F.  Blowing out the carbon day.  This is what I call the first day back from a hiatus since it is what I imagine my car must feel like after using it like a grocery getter for weeks and then taking it on the high way for the first time.   Getting the temperature up, my body moving fluidly, and my lungs working is my blowing out the carbon before I can really get myself up to speed.  However, today as I was blowing out the carbon, I was also blowing out blood from my nose for 2 miles.  Arrived home looking like I took a blade to the jugular.

Friday, Feb 1st OFF, pouring down raining all day

Sunday, Jan 27th – Thursday, Jan 31: OFF …Flu

Saturday, Jan 26th: OFF

Friday, Jan 25th: 4.98 miles, Pace: 7:43 min/mile, Time: 38:29, Weather: 33F

Thursday, Jan 24th: OFF Did chemistry homework instead

Wednesday, Jan 23rd: 5.25 miles, Pace: 8:09 min/mil, Time: 42.33, Weather: 40F.  I ran with an awesome running partner today.  We always have great times , however if he handled his vodka better over lunch we would have ran even faster.  I’m like, I drank just as much as you, so get the lead out, but no JohnC is a light weight.

Tuesday Jan 22nd: OFF

Monday Jan 21st: 4.79 miles, Pace: 8:29 min/mil, Time: 40:43, Weather: 25F Sunny.  Must I remind myself again NO FRIED FOODS PRIOR TO RUNNING.  I wanted to barf. 

Week 3 Total: 27.91 miles

Sunday, Jan 20th: OFF

Saturday, Jan 19th: 6:05 miles, Pace 8:08 min/mil, Time: 49:21. Weather: 35F. I attempted the footpaths on this run.  However, pace was lengthened for having to trek cross-country to avoid ice.

Friday, Jan 18th: 6.40 miles, Pace: 8:11 min/mil, Time: 52.30. Weather: 42F stride was stunted due to slick turain.

Thursday, Jan 17th: OFF, Snow

Wednesday, Jan 16th: 4.93 miles, Pace: 7:37 min/mil, Time: 37:38. Weather Conditions: 39F

What is interesting with this run, is that it is the same run as Tues & Mon run.   Since I have not run with a gadget in a while I wanted to see how well I can perform.  I went in to competition mode and put some pep in my step and rolled through corners like I was on rails.  I was able shaved off .3 miles without breaking anything.

Tuesday, Jan 15th: Dist: 5.28 miles, Pace: 8:17 min/mi, Time: 43:48.  Weather Conditions: 33F felt like 24F it was damn cold.

Monday, Jan 14th:  5.25 miles, I have a new Nike+Ipod toy, yeah

Week 2 Total: 25 miles

Sunday, Jan 13th: OFF

Saturday, Jan 12th: 4 miles (approx)

Friday, Jan 11th: 5.25 miles (approx)

Thursday, Jan 10th: OFF

Wednesday, Jan 9th: 5.25 miles (approx)

Tuesday, Jan 8th: 5.25 miles (approx)

Monday, Jan 7th: 5.25 miles (approx) increased average run by a half a mile

Week 1 total : 14.25 miles

Sunday, Jan 6th: 4.75 miles (approx)

Friday, Jan 4th: OFF

Thursday, Jan 3rd: OFF

Wednesday, Jan 2nd: 4.75 miles (approx)

Tuesday, Jan 1st: 4.75 miles (approx)