But, what if you don’t have much family.  What if the family that meant the world to you is dead or made it clear they don’t want you in their life?  What if just want to say to all the others? 

“I love you but I don’t like you, leave me (the fuck) alone.” 

 I’m tired of mending the same old, worn out fences.  It should be turned into firewood.  They can then smoke signal my happy ass, since I feel like changing my phone number.  I may just decide to spend this winter hypernating with the bear (he’s fuzzy and warm) that way I don’t have to deal with them till spring:

I’ll hang with family.  Make niceties, with my thumb up my ass and pretend I want to be here 

OR

Go swimming in the back yard pool in a string bikini.  Get shitfaced on a mediocre zin and flirt on my aunts cute husband and passout on a lawn chair.

I’m hopeless.

Another new year, another 3 hour phone conversation with parent.  Will this be the year that I will want to be wanted by my blood?

Or will I continue to be satisfied with the family that I made for myself?  We are not force together by blood, but we choose to be together.  I feel pretty special to be chosen by my loved ones.